Trowse – The Funkiest Village in the World?

It’s been a while since I wrote why Trowse is the funkiest village in Norfolk, so I’ve updated it!

Here is just several reasons why Trowse is the funkiest village in Norfolk, if not the world.  Perhaps I am a little biased, but it’s all true!!

* Funky Rivergreen cafe with lattes and cappucinos  (some of the best in Norfolk)
* Three commons to play on, one with en-suite river frontage
* Two rivers stuffed full of fish, otters, birds and occasionally, people. Also a great selection of dykes.
* 2 pubs, both with food and funky locals, one apparently haunted (White Horse)
* Norfolk’s best and one of the few remaining water meadows.
* A broad for swimming with its own beach.
* Another huge broad for serious stuff like windsurfing, sailing, scuba diving, fishing and nude swimming.
* The Country Park to walk, cycle, skate, hop.
* Many woods with huge big ‘holes’ in them, suitable for sliding down on trays
* Some People Who Live Here.
-Producers from Radio Norfolk and the boss of Broadland
-The Producer of Survival (also the previous funkiest Parish Chairman in the whole world)
* The Youngest most dynamic Parish Council in the UK
* Peter from the shop (possibly grumpiest(but secretly the funniest)) shop owner in Norfolk
* Purple Studios (Norfolk’s best recording studios)
* Wonderful church, two cemeteries, so a good selection of places to  die and be buried.
* Norfolk’s best (and only!) Ski slope, suitably placed next to one of the cemeteries.
* A great community web site!
* Norfolk’s biggest drinking trough made from a single bit of granite (if not the UK)
* One of the funkiest vicars in Norfolk (Michael Long)
* Oodles of designers, entrepreneurs, illustrators, artists (like the wonderful Rebecca Kemp), photographers
* The common is connected to WiFi, as is the Cafe and the Pub with lightning broadband speeds
* Trowse is the Triathlon Centre for England
* One of Norfolk’s funkiest, craziest furniture designers (John Barnard) has his base here
* Some really funky travellers living under a bridge from time to time, with occasional noisy parties.
* Old Victorian Mental Hospital as visited by Queen Victoria (now occupied by NCFC players)
(did you know track was laid from Trowse station to Whittlingham Hospital especially for her?)

AND a ditty to prove it (as heard on the radio!)

If you want a cappucino
There’s something that we know
That Trowse is the best place to get it
But if you come in the morning
You can also go snowboarding
And finish your day with a baguette

And well did you ever!
We’ve had Beccy from the weather
And Blue Peter Simon who’s a bit of a dude
But best of all we’ve the chap in the shop
Who some people think is quite rude

Speaking of which, he has got what your after
40 years to the day he has been,
And if you can get him to smile
We’ll all run a long mile
And all the biddies will shout “Ooh I say!”

And if you are into religion
Or want to fly a pidgeon
We’ve got all the people you need
Cos Michael the vicar is really much quicker
Than the equivalent in Horning, indeed

We’ve got broadband and wifi
And cows on the green
We’ve got otters and frogs
That would turn those in Horning quite green

We’ve got the youngest Parish Council
Of all those in the land
We’ve got the funkiest of Chairmen
That makes Horning’s seem so bland

But the best thing in Troose
Is the commoonity we’ve got
And how cloose we are to our fine city
So I challenge all those oot there
To find funkier words for a village this pretty

-Martin Kentish

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